


Grocer

by TheTrashiestQueen



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sassy Bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 21:48:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6395155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTrashiestQueen/pseuds/TheTrashiestQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just Bilbo being the sassiest Hobbit and taking no shit from a certain dwarf king.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grocer

There was another knock at the door, there were already 12 dwarves in his house, pillaged his pantry, destroyed the bloody plumbing, as it was he didn't need any more. Still Bilbo, trying to be polite as ever even in this situation, went to open de door. When he opened there stood a tall dwarf, quite handsome (even if Bilbo would never admit it to anyone, he was a proper Baggins from Bag End, they don't think such improper thoughts.), the dwarf didn't say his name and 'at your service' like all the others, he just marched into the house, like he owned the place, and started talking to Gandalf. Rude.

Bilbo didn't really pay attention till Gandalf said "My dear Bilbo, let me introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield." And by that Thorin turned to look at him, "So this is the hobbit. Tell me Mister Baggins, have you done much fighting?" Fighting? Don't be daft, surely the dwarf would know hobbits don't fight, if he even knew anything about hobbits. "Tell me axe or sword, what is your weapon of choice?" Okay he was being serious so Bilbo answered; "Well I have some skills at concurs," ,he gave his cousin a nasty wound on the head once, "but I fail to see why that's relevant." "Just what I thought, he is more like a grocer than a burglar." The rest of the dwarves chuckled. And that did it for Bilbo, he has tolerated these dwarves for long enough, he won't let himself get insulted by one. "That might be, Mister oh so important dwarf, because I AM A GROCER and not a bloody burglar, I haven't stolen a thing in my life." Bilbo took a step forward into Thorins personal space, to make his point very clear "And another thing..." With that Bilbo looked up into icy blue eyes and abruptly shut up, Thorin just looked amused, how dare he. It made Bilbo burn with anger and before he knew what he was doing he slammed his fist into Thorins face. He immediately regretted it, shocked by what he just did. "Oh dear, I'm so terribly sorry. Are you okay?" But Thorin didn't even flinch, there wasn't a single bruise or wound, there was nothing. And Bilbo did think he punched pretty hard. Thorin didn't say anything, just smirked some more and walked to the table.

They went over what the quest was about, the map and the key and reclaiming Erebor. Gandalf decided that Bilbo was the perfect burglar, Bilbo tried to deny but Gandalf wouldn't have any of it. He got a contract, fainted when the hat dwarf, Bofur, started talking about the bloody furnace with wings. And now he was sitting in his chair, listening to Gandalf giving a speech about why he should come on this quest. But nothing will convince him to go on this quest, he was a Baggins of Bag End they had more chance asking a Took or a Brandybuck for this sort of nasty, disturbing adventure.

Gandalf left in a blur of irritated wizard, and then he sat alone with Thorin. He was smoking his pipe, it was a beautiful one. Bilbo would almost ask for a drag but that would be probably a bit improper giving that he punched this dwarf not long ago. They sat in silence for a bit till Thorin said: "So you're not coming with us?" "No, I don't belong on the road. I can't fight, I would only slow you down." "Gandalf says you're light on your feet, and the dragon wouldn't recognize your smell." "I'm sorry, I'm afraid you've got the wrong hobbit." With that Bilbo stood up but before he came very far Thorin stood right in his way. "Uhm excuse me." Bilbo tried. They were standing way too close, Bilbo could smell Thorin, he smelled all earthy, musky  but at the same time like a soft breeze on a warm summers day and Bilbo started to blush. He looked up and saw that Thorin was looking down at him with those beautiful blue eyes. "But I think you'd be perfect for this quest, Bilbo Baggins." Thorins voice sounded even deeper than before, and Bilbo's name rolled beautiful from those lips almost like a purr. Bilbo tried to look away but Thorin, hand on Bilbo's chin now, made him look deep into his eyes. And before Bilbo knew it Thorin was leaning down, and his lips were his own in an instance. Bilbo Baggins of the Shire was kissing this unimaginable rude dwarf prince, and he did nothing to stop it. He enjoyed the kiss, and kissed back just as fiercely. Thorin was a good kisser, and Bilbo would totally kiss him again given the chance. They parted and Thorin stepped away, smirking down at Bilbo and walking away, back to the other dwarves and Gandalf. Bilbo just stood there kind of stunned about what just happened, did it really happen? Bilbo decided to go to sleep, even this kiss won't convince him to go on this dangerous quest.

The next morning Bilbo woke to an empty house, first he was relieved but than he thought back about previous night, if he didn't take this chance he would never kiss that beautiful mouth again, never hear that deep voice again. With that in his thoughts he grabbed his things and ran out of his round door.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I am absolute trash for writing this.


End file.
